sadness

it has been a very tough week....i got news bout michelle on wed nite...the nite before our last two papers...i was shocked...but nothing could be done....only tears flowed....sad to hear that a person such as her has been call back to the lord....

so much has happen ever since her passing...so much tears had flowed...one thing says it all...saturday was the worst.....it was michelle's funeral n yet it was also our perfomance day...it was certainly not wad we all had in mind....we weren't expecting that to happen either but it did n nothing could be done anymore for wad is done is done.....

we were nice enough....we went against our orders for them....we trusted them n yet they disa point us......they did not think of our feelings....wad r the effects of their actions against us....first time in 5 years....i saw my frens cry for band....first in 5 years i saw claire, aggy n gg cried.....among the few ppl i know that appeared to be the strongest cried in front me....nothing hurts more when u see ur frens crying in front u....as we lay on each others shoulder....we comfort ourselves n pulled back the tears to be strong for our juniors.....we know we had to go on with the performance whether we liked it or not.....its our priority for that day itself....

sigh...but claire was rote...we didn't need them...we made through the performance without them....and it was alrite....but still it didn't cover up for the pain they had cause us....seeing us leaders crying for juniors are too much but nothing could hold those tears any longer for the pain they had cause us at that particular moment when we needed them so badly....where were they when we needed...why do they hurt us...wad had we done to them before that they treat us this way.....

questions asked...but no answers to them....tears flowed like the flowing river.....pain as deep...but wad is done is done......

frustration.....

I hate TODAY…I seriously do….i maybe early for school today…..i may had fun with mr.lim gain but still it doesn’t really make up for the miseries….first I nearly lost a a friendship I’ve known since form 2 because of a small matter…I hate to admiot it but I was afraid that I’ll loose that friendship….first she didn’t really wanna talk to me…in the car to mr.lim’s place I felt as though she didn’t really bothered bout me…but thank goodness…we started joking and laughing angain…den she told me wad happen this morning….man… I was so relieved…..hehehe….another horrible misery of mine is…I WANNA go KL with my prefect frens….but there is a fear in me that I might not be able to go….due to financial problems and oso personal problems…its time like this that I wish I had someone I can run to for comfort….another horrible incident is that…I can home from tuition feelin jolly n someone just had to raise their voice in the car for something I didn’t ask him to do….i’ve been doin it all this while….never asked him to do it…why he had to go kepo….ish…how I organize m things is my problem…not his…ish….argh….
Thas all…gonna shadap now before I loose my temper….sigh….tomolo’s lisan…worried like hell..but hell…don quite bother wad i get anymore for it….urgh….but hey I gotta think of my frens too…can’t affect their marks becuz of me…sigh…..i’ll do my best though…I’ve so much to do n type…..guess my typing allowance just don’t come easy…sigh…..

friday...saturday...sunday...monday...tuesday...

Hmmm….its nearly a week or two since I last posted..hehehe…actually I wanted to post last Friday but I forgot to blog…hehehe….ppl must be wondering wads up in my life….well…nothing much really….hehehe….

Last Friday was ST3 sport’s day….it was fun….the marching isn’t all that great but its alrite….after the opening ceremony….me, Claire, trace, row, geral and aggy walked to hock lee den crown towers….our performance finish around 9 cuz we started quite late…so after performance and everyone was settled already…we waited for row to finish her event…hehehe…she ran the 800 meters….which was so funny..she finished second last yet we were still cheering for her…ahahaha…even before she started running we already cheered her on..ahaha…she was so shy…..we were partially cheering for her and also our sports house….emily and gg didn’t’ go to hock lee with us cuz Emily had bible and gg had to clean house for her bday party….so sad…but its alrite…we took a group pic before that…..hehehe….later when we were at crown towers..we had our lunch and Rachel join us….den a really funny incident happen there…which I think it’s a bit embarrassing for rach n row so I’ll just keep it low…ahahaha…those hu know about the incident is probably laughing their heads off everytime we think about it…ahahaha….lol….me n row shared to buy jay chou’s new album…ciplak one lar….den…when we wnted to walk back to jubilee ground….it rained so had to call my uncle to bring us back there…the whole afternoon me, Claire, row, rach, and couple more other ppl was cheering our heads off for our sports house….it was so funny….we were a bit embarrassed cuz pn. Eliza saw us screaming like a bunch of lunatics….hehehe….but hey…since its our last year in st3….why not rite….hehehe…well…eventually the results are as follow…..1st – slyvia aka orkid(purple)….2nd – leitner aka mawar (yellow)…3rd – egan (pink)….4th – o driscoll aka melati (red)….5th – cheetam aka cempaka (green) ….6th connaughton aka melor (blue)….yeah…not bad lar…..GO LEITNER!!!!!

Ahahahaha….so that’s bout sports day…next is Saturday…band was not so fun as every one was angry….the flutists’ make Claire really angry….one of them actually cried cuz Claire raised her voice a little….which is wrong cuz she was just telling them to practice a little harder on their own and she cried…OMG….juniors are such cry babies…can’t they just accept that they did something wrong….den… after mr. reggie left...we gave the whole band a lecture….emily started it off….cuz the we’re very noisy while mr. reggi was dealing with other sections…..they messed up the cupboard…..den Claire…den I blowed too…later the whole dismissed in a total silence….nobody dared say anything cuz they knew all the seniors was pissed with them….GOOD FOR THEM…..hmpf….i can’t help but say it serves them rite….later that evening was gg’s party…it was fun….at first it was on me, Claire n aggy….so the three of us called aaron up n put him on loud speaker….hehehe….gg was there too..ahaha…he said some things that was just so funny….it was specially for gg…ahahaha…shiok that gg…ahahaha…..newayz…it was alrite…after we ate….we went to gg’s room to read row’s vday gift from someone….it was interesting but sad too….den….later after we had read it….we sat together and started talking bout things that’s been goin on in our lives…bout guys n the way they treat us…..sigh…..no comment…..questions answered….frustration shared among us….sigh….good friends are the best…their always there to lend a helpful hand n listen to our grumbles….well…we didn’t wanna go home but had too….owh well….Sunday….the most tiring day….had breakfast then to row’s place to discuss bout lisan presentation…then….straight to brass practice….i cried a few times on Sunday…but for wad reason it doesn’t really matter cuz its personal…..fights and arguments…things like that….it doesn’t matter anymore…..well..conclusion….Sunday was a bad day…..Monday was alrite except that it was rainin heavily n I was nearly late for duty…few people didn’t come…rach was one of them…jan too…rach said she was at home studying…. Jan was sick….sigh….today was much better…I was in school extremely early though…dad not here…he went to lundu for one night….mom n me home only….mom scared that the rain this morning will make me late for roll call so we left house extremely early….was already in school by 6.25am….crazy isn’t it…ahaha…owh well….school was alrite….mdm foo as usual tortured us with homeworks but she hint on us that if we finish our homework its for sure we can score in our exams…hehe…..OMG…..exam is this Friday…yikes….i guess I stop here lar…tooo long of a post makes it boring….so yea….bye now…..

a long time has passed....

WOW….SO LONG I HAVE NOT POSTED ANY THING….hehehe….since CNY started I didn’t quite feel like posting cuz I found out that a lot of ppl has been reading my blog….ESPECIALLY my family members such as my cousins and my sis….which is a bad thing…..hehehe….a few day before CNy started….val asked me bout my blog….n hu was this guy that I was seeing before this….i was like AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH…………………noooooooooooooooooooooo………but I got through it eventually…..got bombarded…but thank goodness mom doesn’t really know anything bout it yet….anywayz…..CNY this year was alrite for me…..no family photos cuz everyone forgot….hehehe….got lots n lots n lots of red packets…..second day stayed at unc Richard house the whole afternoon playing cards with cousins till dinner….hehehehe….i won a lot…….ngehehehe…..aemy extended her tattoo on the third day….damn…..its nice…..but she said its extremely painful…..ahahahaha…I’m so mean…..owh well…..went visiting with frens on the third day….and that’s just about it…..i think…conclusion…….this CNY was not very exciting for me….

Okays….lets talk bout today…..i did 40 pumpings and additional 10 from mr.reggie for section leaders only…..he said we weren’t doing the pumpings right which I truly believe cuz ummmm…..its a little hard to explain unless u’ve seen it with ur own eyes…..anywayz….the section leaders of clarinet(aggy), horn(me), sax(val), percussion(pat), trumpet(wendy) and trombone(brenda)….went up the stage in the music room….and mr reggie said down….we all went down…be4 that…he gave us a short lecture….den….he counted for us….the first time was like….. he said one n we weren’t low enough…so we went lower n lower……man…my hands was aching like hell…den we had to re do a few times before we could get started cuz was not doing it well enough….den finally when he actually started counting….we were already in so much pain….we did bout 10 times….after that he was asking us whether or not we want our whole section to that….of course we said no…..so he was like saying we are very nice section leaders cuz we didn’t want them to do wad we just did….heheheh…..after that….he let us go n back with our sections……sigh….but after that everyone played better some how…..but we still needed more practice before our concert….owh yeah….marching this morning was really bad……someone was really nervous at leading….and ‘wheeling’ was really sucky…..sigh….but according to mr.reggie we did better than last week…..i really hope that’s true…..cuz sports day is this coming Friday and we don’t have anymore practice after this sat unless its at night…..but don think ms.tan would want that…..owh well….we’ll see wad happens then…..

School’s really a drag for me….exams in two weeks time n I haven’t really studied yet….stressed….v’day is on this coming Tuesday…got several ppl v’day gift’s….aggy’s one of them…hehe…I got her the badge..she’s getting me one too…..hehehe….v’days are usually interesting…I can’t wait……but I can’t help but wonder still hus that guy geral sent to but wouldn’t let me know….but owh well…I’ll respect her privacy…she woudn’t want to tell me the I won’t make her unless she is willingly to tell me….=)….okies…that’s just bout it for today….HAPPY VALENTINE’S TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a froggy day

today during biology period, we disected a frog...it was a sad but yet interesting experience....my groups frog was alrite...but sadly the heart stop beating halfway through....i think i accidently punctured the lungs but i'm not sure....

this was how it went:
1. we put the frog in a container with some cotton soaked with kloroform...
2. den...waited till the frog was unconscious...
3. i took the frog out of the container....
4. laid it down flat den pin it down
5. stretched out all the legs and arm....
6. start cutting the skin....
7. finishing peealing the skin...cut the muscles layer...
8. den.....every single part of the inside of the frog was clearly seen...
9. the heart was still beating....
10. den later suddenly the haert stopped....den after a few seconds...it started beating...freaks man...it happened a number of times....freaky man...

anywayz...iafter doin the disection...i couldn't eat properly...felt really uncomfortable....it lasted all the way till lunch...was walking aimlessly in kenyalang....btw......it was a rather cruel procedure i admit cuz after we were done with it....we put the still half alive frog in a plastic bags full of other dead frogs n kloroform cottons....some of the groups actually took back the frog n burry it...i have no comment bout that cuz my group was the first to put the frog in the bag so we couldn't take out the frog anymore to bury it.....

during our two period of bio lot of thing happened...such as...ppl screaming at the top of their lungs....den there was one group that was disecting the frog.....they didn't put the frog to sleep properly...so half way thorough..it came back to ive...it started moving...luckily for me...i didn't get the big frogs...dad caught a moderate sized one which was good enough cuz....the big one was hard to deal with...the muscle layer was really thick so it was rather hard.....row's group had a very hard time....at least my group didn't had much blood involved cuz i avoided cutting the blood streams....anywayz...no traces of blood can be found on our frog but some how...i got two small drops of frog blood on my shirt.....ewwwwwwwwwww...............grossed...but newayz....it was a good experience.....hehehehe...glad we had the chance to do so....

owh yeah....i actually stopped blogging on this page but i guess i blog back at this page cuz my elder sis read my other blog n found out bout my bf...she wasn't happy bout it......but newayz...hu cares wad she thinks...she has aone that she refuse to tell anyone especially mom n da even though it has been so ong...she thinks that i don't know but i've known it since a long time even before she told me last year....i think she's getting worst as the years pass....she is far worst than mom....even mom doesn't scare my frens like the way she does...shish...

anywayz...its getting late...gotta go now....nitez...

What hurts and what doesn’t????

Today I went out to watch NARNIA with Jude and Jane…it was alrite…we met p at them at star at 1.30pm but we couldn’t get tickets to the 2pm movie so instead we got the the 4.30 show….so practically I hang out with jude for nearly two hours….he told me his whole camp experience which was rather interesting…den we had this idea that mr.lim might be in school for meeting so we walked to school….den we found out he wasn’t den we we’re just hanging around in st. jo’s school grounds….den we bum into ikmal n some other form 3 red crescent member and Jude had a good chat with him after he told his silly ghost story to me….i on the other hand was talking to ikmal bout l ots of things I didn’t quite wanna talk bout….such as the rumors bout Vicky and den….he starts talking bout things that I have finally got over bout…the thing is that…after talking to him I don’t know which hurt more….knowing the fact that u miss this person and u have to see him for one whole year, three times a week or….hearing it from some one who u dislike that the guy u like is crushed cuz he still can’t get a date with this gurl he has a crush on….den…. this idiot which i dislike had to go asking me question that I don’t like answering again….same question that I have been avoiding since hols started…..den…he starts making his assumption again….**** this guy man…doesn’t he know when to back off cuz its not his problem….can’t he just bloody hell shut his trap….even if he knows a lot of things u can always shut up rite…..wad the hell is wrong with him…..as soon as the conversation finish I can’t wait to leave…..**** him man…he may be a smart ass in form 2 but hu the hell cares if ur so bloody irritating……I know I sucked in my studies…doesn’t mean that u can bla all u want that u know all this and that…****ed if anyone cares if u know that now…its not like ur gonna use it yet….**** man…..

I shouldn’t be doin this….i’m turning all my sadness to rage….which is bad….if I’m sad I should talk to someone but I dunno how to talk bout it…..but I can’t help either cuz I finally got myself to let go n go on but I don’t think I really did…that’s probably the true reason y I’m so enrage….this sucks…but honestly…that boy is bloody busy body…its no wonder jude hates him too….well….i don quite understand y jude dislike band members in his school but I don’t quite give a damn if he hates this boy….cuz he has all the right too…..he’s nothing but a busy body….one of this days…he’s gonna get a really hard slap for his busy bodyness…..and it ain’t gonna help if he’s gonna go back crying to his mama’s arms….mommy’s boy alrite…..well.. sowee…never ever get on my nerves….not only he has spoil my day he nearly spoil my movie as well….Argh…to hell with him…

Going to back to my day…..well actually that was my day…..i think I did all my x’mas shopping already….i’ve only left with present for my foster sis….my biological sister’s I dunno yet..hehe….it wouldn’t mean anything if I bought them something cuz practically there the ones giving me money…hehehe…but newayz….i have my own way of repaying them that doesn’t need money….

I think yesterday was a better day then today…..went shopping with aggy n angie…..their lau kung’s was just side kicks…..hehe….but newayz…I left early….they went on pak tohing…..so its better if I wasn’t there….don’t have to be light bulb……yea…I think that’s just about it this time….till next time….

MERRY X’MAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!

phew...finally got my form 5 text books today.....

i've didn't do much today....its a sat n i didn't do much...hard to believe...well anywayz...i woke up around 9.30 am den watch tv....watched all my favorite cartoons..hehe...i know i'm a bit too old for them but i think its alrite since my sis hu is already 24 is still watching cartoons and brags to me about them....den... i cooked myself mee since mom n dad busy doin gardening den.....after they saw me eating...dad ask me to cook for them as well so i did.....den half way thorough when i was puting the meat n veggie into the boiling water...mom took over say she wanted to cook mee sua instead...so ok lor....den went back to my tv.....

later dad bug me to sweep the floor...so i did lor....den when he was moping the floor...he complaint say i didn't do a good job at sweeping....so fine lor....i just keep quiet.....say anything oso no use....den called ida bout my books...den later she send it over to my place....after that i went to take bath den lazzed around till it was nearly time to get ready to go over to aggy's place....

den...went to aggy's place at 5pm...den we both lazzed around her house till 5.45 den we go n meet angie at the SIB church.....den we sat there and talk lor....den both their laukung's came.....sat in the same table as us n angie's mom as well....it was rather fun lar...get to meet all my old tennis frens...which are all older thatn me...hehe...there's sarah hu tried messing up my hair....den melissa hus first words were "wah, so big oledi ah.....i'll always remember u for the gurl hu smacked me with a tennis racket"...hehehe....lols...make me sound like little kid nia....ish....but nvm lar...don get to see this ppl all the time anywayz...but i fancy sarah the most...she's the funnest....hehe....den... there was the performance by the church choir...let see who was in it...hehe...there was isaac, jon(angie's bro), sarah was conducting, tim, and some more other ppl....owh yeah...david was in it too but he played his clarinet so not counted....hahaha....was not quite satiisfied tonite cuz i didn't have georgie to back me up on getting him...darn...but owh well...nvm den...took so many pic for aggy and angie....especially pic of their laukungs...den be4 e went ack three of us took pic but angie's lil bro interrupted so dunno how that pic turn up....

den came home...aggy send me...den...called mr.lim to remember to bring my things to me tomolo when we meet and as well ask him bout those free tickets.....den as usual...back to watching tv again.. and now here i am....so yea...thats how my day was....THE END